Some of you know that for many years I’ve been a big Tony Robbins fan. I’ve got his 30 day program for personal success on both CD’s and Cassettes and have been through the series several times. It includes some very specific goal setting workshops that I have incorporated into my world pretty intensively. I have long attributed several of my accomplishments and achievements to following that plan.
Working the Robbins material has trained me to set very focused goals and then to take specific actions aimed at achieving those goals.
Into that landscape enter Stephen Shapiro, author of the book “Goal Free Living”.
Mr. Shapiro calls someone like me a “goal-a-holic” and insists that being so focused on specific outcomes leads to an overly worried, stressed out life. He says that by their very nature, goals lead us to be so focused on the future that we fail to live in the moment and appreciate what we already have. He writes:
“Being goal-free does not mean having no goals. It means being free from the burden and limitation of traditional goals. Having said that, it is also about avoiding SMART goals — those that are specific, measurable, achievable, results-based, and time oriented. These types of goals limit us even further. Goal-Free Living is best described as meandering with purpose — or, as is the first secret, “Use a Compass, Not a Map.”
So I’m wrestling between thinking he is a blasphemy spouting heretic casting aspersions on my sacred cow or giving room to consider there may be something to his arguments.
One of my all time favorite books is “The Precious Present” by Spencer Johnson. That short but oh-so-profound little tale is all about living in the moment and savoring the juice of life as we live it rather than being haunted by our past or made anxious by the future.
However, does living in the moment mean throwing out my check lists and giving up on my goals?? I DON’T THINK SO!
I’ve heard it said: “today is the tomorrow that we worried about yesterday”.
The reason I am able to do many of the things I can do today is because in some of my yesterdays I was willing to delay gratification and work toward very specific goals – like getting an education, like having lasik surgery, like establishing good credit, etc. etc.
HOWEVER – I do see Shapiro’s point that if we are extremely specific about our goals we leave little room for alternate successes.
For me, the truth lies somewhere in the middle between the preachings of Robbins and Shapiro. By no means am I going to throw away my palm pilot or give up on my check lists. I am a strong advocate of crafting a life by design rather than taking the pot luck of default, accepting whatever may come along. For me, that means creating a meaningful plan and then paying attention to whether I am getting closer to that plan or further away so I can adjust my efforts accordingly.
But maybe, just MAYBE it is time that I start rethinking some of my compulsive drive for “getting it right”. Maybe I could make some room for savoring a bit more of what comes along instead of always feeding my desire for the illusion of being in control of my life. Perhaps I could learn to be more willing to trust the universe to unfold all on its own without my guidance, eh?
Or not.
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2 comments:
If your friend is Johnda Smith, you have a fool for a friend. She is the most ego-centric, controlling, "holier than thou" jerk that tells people God has given revelation to her about someone else's life. Lynda... pick better friends.
I was tempted to just delete the comment by anonymous as being rude and mean spirited. But I decided to let it stand with this response from me.
Point #1 - I think is healthy and appropriate to disagree with others. I think falling back on petty name calling - especially when hiding behind "anonymous" rather than owning your own words is childish and uncalled for.
Point #2 - Honestly, I didn't think anyone still read this old blog. Amazing you dropped by AND that you tracked back to posts over a year old.
Point #3- I am a fool sometimes. I suspect you are too. (well, you've pretty much proven that.)
I have a wide variety of friends and acquaintences. Some I enjoy and respect more than others. Some I spend lots of time with. Some I only see on rare occassions or never if we know each other only in cyber space. But in my mind it seems both possible and worthwhile to benefit from contact with all sorts of different people - even those (perhaps especially those) who I often disagree with.
I know people who live by widely different personal philosophies - some could be accurately called crack pots. Some are wise beyond their years. Sometimes I wonder what the wise ones are doing hanging out with ME.
I think everyone has something to offer.
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